The best way to prepare for life is to begin to live.

The title sounds fitting. Quite a few people have written blogs talking about the end of college, how this is it, the end of the road? But is it? No. It isn't. In hindsight of not just the project, but the whole year, I can't help but feel lost, my own personal level of skill isn't at a high enough standard for industry, I know allot of people have gone off before and never put their qualification to any use, but I'd like to be one the few who do. Hopefully.

I'm out to be the best at what I do, it's honestly the only life goal that makes sense, I've never been interested in the contemporary industry, not because it bores me, but because it only appears to a select few, that's not what I want out of life, I want to get good, really good at what I do and entertain people because it's the only thing that makes sense in life in what I want to do. Maybes and most likely I'll get shot down, and I might never end up at the top, but I'll quite happily get there and fail if need be. Delusional? You bet. But why on Earth pursue a career you don't have a drive for? I talk to people studying Accountancy, Biology, Maths and English, people who study that because it's going to get them money, not because they have a passion for it and it's a waste as far as I'm concerned.

If there's anything I've learnt this year, it's to do what makes YOU happy, Choke was never a project that set with me, it's why it changed so much and so drastically, because the drive was never fully prominent and still isn't. I have a trailer prepared, but am I happy? Am I ever? No.

In all honestly, there's allot wrong with it, and I'm just not fully content, I'm really not happy with the use of really limited animation and that was only used because I was pushed for time and I just know I can do better. Much better. I like the premise, the idea, I think it works pretty well and I just want this to be a singular story arc, but I've come this far and I'm not about to knock it on the head now. I got ahold of some oven-baking clay, "Super Sculpey"and it's really great stuff, to coincide with my upcoming final show, I made a model of Piper...

I found that just being brown, he looked bare, so I added a pink tummy to him...

I realise the paint work isn't that great, I'm going to hopefully neaten it up and add some detail, it's something new, something I've never done before and I've enjoyed it to say the least. 

In further regards to my work, the quantity was without a doubt the largest I've ever handed in and I did get a real sense of accomplishment being rid of it and at the same time, there was so much which I wasn't content with and it's hard to find words, perhaps it's because an artist's work is never done, not that I consider myself an artist, merely a perfectionist. I've enjoyed the run, the competition and the drive to do better than what I'm capable of, I've seen my peers as friends and competitors, people who want what I want and people, who ultimately, I have to bypass, it applies for everyone, that each and every individual see's each and every other person as competition, at least that's how I've viewed the year and maybes it was wrong, that I aspired to be the best but alienated myself from allot of other things, maybes. 

But I applied for the course to leave with a qualification, and in the first year of my study, I didn't think I'd achieve that, it's only when I hit second year that my focus, my drive and ambition improved and it's seen me through the year. I've heard people say, "Grades don't matter, i'm only here to animate", if you're only there to animate, go home, because with the right equipment, anyone can produce something. What the course is, is about you changing, progressing, seeing the industry for what it is and leaving with an understanding of what this medium is built upon. I think I've achieved that.

So what's next? A 3rd year in education undoubtably, another year of practice would be beneficial towards my own learning. In terms of the blog, will it keep up? No. I could say yes but this blog isn't about ME, it's about MY learning and although i've tried to make it more personal, I like the idea of being able to reflect every now and then on my work and I might plan together a new blog, just to get up and off the ground, make something personal, more video's, images a good rant here and there to let off some steam, barely anyone reads a blog, I bet barely anyone reads THIS, but it's about getting an idea or opinion out of your mind and onto here so theres from for more and at least this way, you can reflect. To finish up, here's my showreel, it needs tinkering with, its pretty damn abysmal if I'm to be honest, but I'll work on it... I'm not worried about the final show, I'm worried about the fact that I don't know what exactly to do for it...

I'll figure something out...

I've done it before.

I can do it again. 

If you've followed my blog, I might add a bit more, but most likely, this'll be it for a while, I'll just be tying up my previous blog entries. So then, with this all said and done, thanks for reading.

Callum.